2170 Minutes

2170 Minutes (orig. published 4.7.11)


This is harder than I thought. I'm not the one going through the pain of surgery. I'm not the 1 year old being left behind without her Daddy, Mama, and Brother for 8 days. So what's my problem? I don't know, but my heart is breaking.

I've been trying to hold it together. Today was Colson's last day at Gramma's and Papa's until after his surgery. I suppose that's what made it more real to me. We leave on Sunday. Not Sunday in 1 week, or 2 weeks, or 2 month's. But Sunday in 3 days. 2,170 minutes. My happy little guy's world is about to be shattered. I know it's not forever. I know we've been through this before. I know he's tough and he'll get through it, and I know it'll be over before I know it. Before he knows it.

For some reason, that knowledge still isn't helping me right now.


My sweet sunshine girl is about to be away from her family for the longest time in her life and I can't stop crying just thinking about it. I don't want her to think I've abandoned her. This is the tiny girl who slept next to me every night as a baby. Who was attached to me every day in between. This is the tiny girl who adores her Brother and runs to her Daddy. She'll be at Gramma and Papa's, and she completely adores them as well. I know she'll have lots of fun. I know the time will go by fast. I know they will keep her entertained.

For some reason, that knowledge just isn't helping me right now.


We are having a fundraiser to help pay for the costs associated with this trip. We were not able to secure flight assistance, and with the 3 of us going, and for such a long time, the expenses really add up. We have raised and are raising money at www.gofundme.com/colson-tabbert . The support and generosity of family, friends, and strangers is tremendous and very humbling. We will be sure to "pay-it-forward" whatever way we can.


3 days and counting - looking forward to coming home on the 18th already.


Love my Tiny tough guy.

And his Tiny sunshine sister.

Love to all of you.


-J-


PS: Despite the best efforts of parents, life still sneaks in to influence your children. Somewhere, Colson picked up the terms "explode" and "blow up". Yes, I have blocked Boomerang, Cartoon Network, and Spongebob.

On the way home tonight, he was counting down till when the car will explode.

This is slightly more troubling than usual because we will be getting on an airplane in 3 days. I hope he doesn't get us kicked off :-)

I explained to him that exploding and blowing things up are not usually a good thing and people can get hurt. He thought about it for awhile and said "7 seconds till your car turns into a balloon then Mommy!". Much better Colson. Much better. Now just make sure we use the word balloon when we are on the plane.


Holding her Brothers hand and watching a movie. (Sorry about the light on her face, we were in the car).

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